no doubts

i just read my last post, boy i really was freaking out over nothing. the 5K went fine. i ran the whole thing, and wasnt dead last, i consider that a victory. i did find my run time...lol, not so good, but i can worry about time next time. yes, i said next time. i am going to do another one, and this time, work on shaving a couple minutes off my time. in fact, i really want to do the marine mudrun next summer/fall. you run, go through mud, i dont even know what else, but it sounds like a good challenge.

i really cannot describe how good it feels to set a goal, and actually accomplish it. it makes me feel like i can do so much more!

now, confession time, my diet is leaving a lot to be desired. i need to get back on track, before my year anniversary. i really wanted to make my goal, but i dont see me losing 40 lbs before the end of january. its okay, because i know i will get there. i still have lost over 85 lbs within a year, i have dropped 6 sizes, run a 5K, and i teach at the Y. how could i possibly be disappointed?

i wish i would of taken "before" measurements, bc i am pretty sure i have lost half of my ass! between that and the top half, i am going to look like a 14 year old boy when i get to my goal!!!! then i am going to have to gain back a few so i have some curves, and you can distinguish me from a preteen.

race day, t-minus 72 hours

i really cannot believe the 5k is in 3 days!!! not happy that its going to be cold, i really hate running in the cold. you freeze, then you sweat. not pretty. not to mention the lungs start burning about half a mile in. yep, reallllly looking foward to this goal. the next time i set a goal for running, (if i do) it will be in the spring. not completely sure i will last the whole 3+ miles without walking. do i sound a little pessimistic? i am letting all my old doubts creep in.

ok, regroup! i can do this, i have been doing stuff i never thought i would do!!!!!!!!!! who ever would of thought a year ago, that i would even be entering a 5k run? surely not i!!!!!!!!!!! i certainly never thought i would be teaching classes at the Y!!!!!!!! so think positive, and happy thoughts!!!

plateau

i think i have finally hit one. the dreaded plateau! i have been sitting at the same weight for about a month now, wait, correction, i have been gaining and losing the same 3 lbs. i just cant get any lower. i need to make some changes. i need to run more. i feel like i am losing momentum, and motivation. the turkey run is two weeks from today, and i dont feel like i am anywhere near where i need to be. in all of this, i dont like the uncertainty of possibly not making my goal. even if i stopped losing weight, i'd still feel good about what i have done so far, but i am not done!!! i still have 40 more to go. i just need to buckle down, and go, go, go!!!!!

i have also found out that i can eat way more than i wanted to. it scares me. all this hard work, and all the changes i have made, i am not going to go back to the old me. i have been making an effort to get more protein in, and more vegetables. its still hard to make that choice between chips or veggies. (i am choosing the veggies, in case anyone is wondering) but i cant lie, i do have a few chips, but i overload on the veggies. and i am sure that the hard choice between chocolate and...anything, chocolate will probably always win. its just me, and i dont think that will ever change.

been a few weeks since i posted, thought it was time.
everything is going great, keeping on track. i have a dr. appt. this week, so i am anxious to see how i am doing according to them.

i wore my skinny jeans last night, and they fit great!!! my size 14s are able to be slid up and down without unbuttoning them, so i think its about time to go to 12s. wow!!!! it has been about 20 years since i have worn a 12. i am very excited!

the thing i really love is that sometimes people dont recognize me at first, and do double takes! love that!!!!

when i first had the surgery, i was hoping to be at my goal by now, but i am actually very happy with the progress i made, and satisfied with the speed that i am getting there. i dont even care how long it takes me to get there.

i have been slacking off on my running, so i am trying to get restarted. the turkey day run is coming up in a little over a month, and i really want to finish it.

so, right now, not a whole lot to report. business as usual!

SIZE 12 OLD NAVY JEANS...OH YEAH, BABY!!!!

yep, i have a pair, and yep, they fit!!!!!! they are a little snug, but they are the skinny jeans, and meant to fit tight. i am just not used to wearing anything that fits tighter than a big top tent.

seriously, why didnt i do this 10 years ago????? i feel so awesome. my brother got a little choked up last night when he saw me, and was telling me how proud he was of all that i have accomplished, and how happy i look! awwww!!! what a good feeling. and now, people are making comments about how much i look like my sister, who has always been the "pretty one". ok, i will take it!! it really makes me laugh when i see the double takes of people who havent seen me since before surgery, or didnt know i was getting this done. what a total rush!!!

still the major downside of weight loss is always being cold!!! anything under 75 degrees, and i am freezing!!! yes, that is about the only downside. i know, not much to complain about. but winter hasnt hit yet!!!!! lol

now, not only am i teaching the rumble class...but i have the plyo burn class also!!! so i now have 4 classes a week that i am instructing. pretty exciting stuff!

kind of at a standstill right now. cant get any lower than the 81 lb loss. i know that it wont last for too long, but it does get a little frustrating. i will just run more, and add more calories, and see what happens.

i am in a size 14 jeans!!! havent been this size in forever! like over 15 years! i can get a 12 pant on, but its a little snug. but i dont care, bc i got it on, and buttoned!!! hahahahaha! i got some new (gently used) clothes from my friend, that are sizes 12,10, and 8!!! i cant even imagine getting down to an 8, but a girl can hope. i was just working towards a 10. considering i started in a size 24, i am thinking anything under a 14 is successful.

GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLL

my new goal has been met! i am now the friday evening rumble instructor!!! pretty exciting. tonight was my first class with me teaching all by myself. i was making myself sick worrying about how it was going to go, but once i got into the warm up, i was feeling okay. pretty strange that 7 months ago today, i was still sitting in the hospital, one day out of surgery! and here i am today 78 lbs lighter, and working as a fitness instructor!
when i watched the biggest loser, i noticed that a lot of the people that go through that, end up being an instructor. now i totally understand why!!! i want everyone to feel as good as i do, i feel like i was just given this amazing secret. i havent been running as much lately, bc i have been training to take over the class, so i am back on it tomorrow! i have only run twice this week, and only a mile each time. i feel like a slacker.:)

my hair

my hair is definitely a casualty of this surgery, and recovery. i used to have pretty thick hair, and very strong. it had to be, considering all the different colors i color it. now i have some breakage, and its not anywhere near as thick. it is really bugging me. so now i am really going full throttle on the protein. i even have starbucks put in a scoop of protein powder in my mocha light frappucinos.
i am getting a lot of positive feedback from everyone, and it is just motivating me all the more! i have such a great support system, and i dont know what i would do without everyone!!!!!
i have a goal that is possibly going to be met, and soon. will have to keep everyone posted when i find out the (good?) news.

sizes

i have officially moved into a regular size 14!!!! no more plus size for me! yippeeee!!! i bought a pair of shorts to wear for biking, and they are a 12/14 thank you very much! i havent been this size in soooooo long. this is very exciting.
i got my form to fill out for my 5k. i need to fill it out and send it in. definitely no turning back after that! still concerned that rodney is leaving in 2 weeks, and worried about having that support from a trainer. hopefully i can meet at least one more time before he leaves, just to get in anything else i need.
need to add more protein again, and more veggies. way too easy to get off track, so i need to get right back on.

WTF!??

just got some really sucky news today. my trainer, hot rodney is leaving. i am happy that he is advancing his career, BUT, i am in a selfish mode, so i am freaking out over what this means to ME!
h0w the hell am i supposed to get to my goals of a seven minute mile, and finishing a 5k? not to mention no more plyo burn or friday rumble? i just about had a panic attack after he told me.
this is not boding well for my goals.
btw, i am starting to not hate my arms lately.

FINALLY...

i did it!!! i finally ran a 9:11 minute mile!!! i had to have rodney run with me, bc i still cant pace myself. but i did it. i am pretty damn proud of myself! i even ran 3 miles last saturday, thats the furthest i have run. i cant say i "like" running yet, but i am very excited that i am getting somewhere.
i am down 74 lbs, now, almost 6 months out now. i havent hit a plateau yet, i am sure i will at some point, but i think i have been changing things up so much that it hasnt happened yet. i need to get an appointment for the dr. its just about time for my 6 month check. we will see what they say about my progress. i dont know about them, but i am happy with it!
i am just about out of plus sizes too. i am almost a regular size 14. this is the smallest i have been in about 16 years.

two more days...

i have two more days until i am going to try to run a 9 minute mile. i am still waiting for the runners high. i think skinny people just tell us that it happens so we will try running.

so i am 5 months out now, i am down 68 lbs, and working out...life is good.

i am also going to try some beach volleyball...apparently the Y needs some comic relief. its going to take me out of "hot rod"s class. i wonder if he will miss me?

so far, there is only one drawback to this whole thing.... i am going to need a smaller bra.:( shut up michelle.

i would like to take this time to say a big thanks to everyone for all their support, and suggestions, and advice! it means the world to me, and makes me glad every day for the decision we made to do this. i say we, bc i couldnt of done anything without my wonderful husband, chad. he is the most supportive person. he is my biggest cheerleader, and i love him more than ever. even though he doesnt like to work out with me, bc i am too pushy!! lol, imagine that!!!!

top ten things i love about losing weight

10. obviously the way i feel! no more ankle and knee pain in the morning and at night!

9. going to a smaller clothes size...thank you kristie!!!!!

8. being able to chase the kids around, and play on the floor with them!

7. seeing my jawline and collarbone for the first time in about 15 years.

6. tightening the seat belt in the car.

5. being able to give myself a pedicure, although i still prefer getting them done somewhere.

4. being able to wrap myself in a towel after a shower.

3. using less lotion after the shower.

2. seeing dimples when i smile, who knew???

1. my husbands perma-smile! 'nuff said!!!! ;)

i have been doing a lot of running, i did two miles today. i am a very slow runner, though. i am running a 12 minute mile right now, rodney wants me at an 8, in about a week or two. how the hell am i going to do that???? i guess i will just do it, that seems to be the way i am doing things now... just doing it!!!
all the little things are getting me really excited about my weight loss, but i am a little scared too. you would think that getting closer to my goal, and closer to the lowest i have weighed since all the thyroid problems started would make me super excited. it does, but there is a part of me that is terrified of actually getting there. i dont know what it is that i am so scared of, i cant really explain it. i am so happy in every aspect of my life, i am married to my best friend, i have happy, healthy children, i love my family, my friends...i could use more money, but hey, who couldnt? so getting healthy was the last puzzle piece to fit. now i am doing it, finally, after all these years, and i am scared. i am bound and determined to get down to my goal weight, maybe then i will figure out what it is that is making me afraid.

i was running....(forrest gump)

i did it! i ran a mile without stopping, or walking, or dying!!!! for those of you who actually run, dont laugh, i know its pitiful, but its my starting point.
i never run, i didnt think i would make it even 3 times around the track, but with rodney, the trainer, i made it all 10!!!! he just kept me talking, and telling me to breathe, and i made it. i was tired, but not like i thought i would be. that was 5 days ago, and i have run 3 more times since then. i even did a mile and a half the other day! i cant say that i LIKE running yet, but i am not quitting!
i also made it into my skinny jeans, i now need a new, and smaller pair of skinny jeans to work towards. so i am down another size! this is so exciting, i was trying on different clothes the other day, and actually came pretty close to crying. is weight loss going to make me into a baby?

tomorrow starts a new challenge

i am meeting with the rumble guy, and he is going to start me off training for a 5k this fall. the only race i know of is the turkey run on thanksgiving, so i guess that is the goal race. i dont run, stopped when i was about 14 or so. so, armed with two sports bras tomorrow, i start again.

so, now that i have made this public, i cant back out.

i am also officially back to a 60 lb loss. being sick actually worked out for me last week! i dropped the 7 lbs difference from the dr.s scale to mine. hopefully this running will kickstart another 7 lb drop!

THEY WANT ME TO UP MY CALORIE INTAKE!! WTH????

so here is the deal, my scale weighs 5 lbs lighter than the dr.s office, or the dieticians office. not a big deal you say? no, not in the long run, its not. but, when you are working your ass off for every lb, it kind of is. what am i going to do about it??? well, if it was the old me, i would just go food crazy, and stop working out, out of frustration. but the new me, is taking it in stride. i am bitching about it, and i will be over it in a few.

on a good note, i am averaging 2.5 lbs lost every week. very cool.

about the title, yeah, they want me to up my caloric intake from 1000-1200 to 1200-1400. apparently when you are losing weight, and working out, your body will go into starvation mode if you arent getting enough calories. and you will stop losing weight. this is all so insane sounding to me!!! someone actually wants me to get more calories in!!! never, ever, did i think this would be said to me!!! the dietician also wants me to not think that if i eat something bad, i should hurry and go work out, because that is eating disorder style thinking! somehow, i dont think that will ever be a possibility for me.

trying to stay motivated with underactive thyroid activity

this week has been hard to get to gym, hard to get up in the mornings. i had to have some bloodwork done for my dr. appt this week. i knew i was a little more tired lately, but it seemed like as soon as they told me that my tsh levels were off, i really hit a downward spiral! weird how that happens!
i think this week was almost as hard as the first week going back to the gym. i made it to 2 rumble classes, and a zumba class, and a couple times doing cardio, but i ditched yoga altogether. not cool. now i feel guilty if i miss anything.

i am pretty sure i am hitting a plateau, it remains to be seen if its a major or minor one. after taking my rumble class today, i was talking to the instructor (he is H to the O to the T, btw), he is going to have another class after fridays rumble. it involves a lot of running, jumping jacks, and jumping rope. things i really hate to do. but i am going to do it anyway! partially bc i really want to give myself a challenge, and partially bc i really like to look at him, makes the time go fast!!!! :) who the hell invented all this jumping stuff anyway??? obviously someone who didnt have boobs!

i made it...kinda

so i made it to my halfway point, then went back up again! so i am fluctuating up and down a couple of lbs. i am trying to not let it get to me. i just keep trying new things, i did a spinning class today, and i have been doing yoga, and zumba in addition to my rumble class and cardio.

i got the results back on my bloodwork, everything looks good, except for my tsh. which is the thyroid hormone. no wonder i am so tired, i have been waiting for the awesome energy that is supposed to come with losing a bunch of weight, and it hasnt really happened yet. NO WONDER!!!!! so, i will get the directions from the doctor, and maybe in a couple weeks or so, i will be back to normal. so now i can understand why it was so easy for me to gain. i wasnt eating less than 2000 calories a day, nor working out 5 or 6 times a week, and was more tired than i am now!!! what a losing battle!!!

i think i might be driving my husband nuts, though!!! i am really loving the way i feel after working out, and i want him to feel that way too. he is not so much on board with the whole workout thing, right now.

hello jawline! hello cheekbones! hello shoulder blades!

if people could see me when i am alone, they would really wonder about me!!! i keep feeling different places, because i can feel bones now!

kind of at a standstill this week. i am sooooo close to my 60 lbs lost, i can taste it! but i didnt get a lot of working out done this weekend. i am going to have to make up for it this week.

not a lot of other things to report as of right now.

almost to my halfway point...3 months out!!!

so crazy, i am 55 lbs down, and only 5 lbs away from being halfway to my goal of losing 120 lbs. i cannot believe its almost here already. i have never lost weight this fast, even when i was young!

i feel so good, i dont have ankle and knee pain every morning when i get out of bed, i can go upstairs without feeling winded. i really think i am truly addicted to exercising now. i keep pushing myself harder to do more, to work out harder, longer. pretty amazing.

I DID IT!! 50 lbs GONE!!!

so very excited to have lost 50 lbs. hard to believe, they are gone within 3 months! last time i lost 50 lbs, it took me about a year and a half. haha, thyroid, who is getting the last laugh!!!

i dare anyone to tell me that gastric bypass is the easy way out! i have worked hard to lose every lb! took my favorite workout class today, rumble. the guy instructor is merciless! but i think i worked off an inch off my triceps. that is a tough spot, i dont want to end up with chicken wings, that flap long after the arm stops moving. i wish i would of taken measurements the night before the surgery, then i could check out my progress. the only way other than lbs lost, is by my clothes.

former skinny jeans

my former skinny jeans are now getting baggy! how good is life???? i have a new pair of skinny jeans that i was wearing 5 years ago, they are my new goal. i tried them on today, and i can get them up, but not even close to buttoning them. maybe in about 20 lbs.

i am really starting to enjoy working out, they say it only takes 6 weeks to make something a habit. i dont know if its a habit yet, but i dont like when i cant get to the gym. i really feel like i am coming out of my shell with working out. i know, most everyone thinks i would never be in a shell of any sort...but being fat and working out, you are always thinking people are looking at you. you know they are thinking, "yeah, you better step it up fatass!!!" now, i just dont care, i know i am on my way to getting in better shape than i have ever been. i like getting all sweaty!

i love all this energy i have!

its a buffet, not a challenge...

had a hurdle this weekend...(scary music, dun, dun, duuuuunnnnnn) the buffet at golden corral. chad and i went away this weekend, on an overnight, so he could take a test sat am. we ate out at joes crab shack friday night, split one entree with fish and shrimp. and even got a piece of cake. we could only take a few bites of the cake, took it back to the hotel room with us, and had a few more bites later. food was great, atomosphere was fun. i am supposed to refrain from drinking until the end of april, it was still hard to turn down a hurricane!!!

sat on our way home, we stopped for dinner at the golden corral, didnt know it was a buffett, until we got inside. they let me have the kids price, since i had the surgery. :) OMG, one of the only times i wish i could reopen the stomach, and make more room!! they had everything! i had more fish, a little chicken, a little of this, a little of that, etc. i just ate only a bite or two of everything i wanted to eat, and i was full. my stomach was done, but my mind was still thinking about all the possiblities up there waiting for someone like me. or someone, like i was. i stopped before i felt full, because if i let myself eat until i feel full, i dont feel very good after it all settles in more.

it was a little challenging, mind over fatter!!!! but i made it past it, and the world didnt end when i didnt get some chocolate soft serve over hot chocolate chip cookies... who knew?

I DID IT!!

i made it, i now weigh 2 lbs less than my husband!!! so now, i need to widen that gap, a lot!!! but in the almost 18 years that i have known him, this is the first time i have ever weighed less than him. loving this!!! so that was basically my first major personal goal to get to. i have another personal goal, and i will let you know when i get there. its getting closer every day!!

i do feel like i am changing, i actually dont mind looking at pics of myself that are taken now, as long as they are just of my face.

i also feel like some of my attitudes towards food are slowly changing. food is always going to be there, i dont feel like i have to eat the whole thing if its in front of me. its okay to throw some away, or give it to someone else. (sorry, michelle! ) before, i was definitely a full-fledged member of the "clean-your-plate" club. i am trying to not make my kids eat everything on their plate if they dont want to.

the great thing about this is that i dont feel hungry all the time, and i dont feel like i am missing out on anything, or depriving myself.

44 lbs gone gone gone!!!!!!!!!

so, i dont normally admit this, but since i dont have to worry about it anymore.... i am 4 lbs shy of actually weighing less than my husband!!!! so, what does he have to say about that? "oh, i guess i am going to have to get serious about getting to the gym" wth????? that is just wrong. so maybe by next weekend, i can weigh less than him???? i hope so, i am going to get to the gym a lot this week, so i can make it happen!!

i am supposed to be keeping food journals of everything i eat, but that is soooo hard. i got a site from a friend, thanks diane, and its a lot easier. they do all the calculations for you, and just about everything you can think to eat is in their data base. so, if anyone wants the site, let me know. i just have to remember everything i eat, and not forget to do it. i cant remember everything i ate yesterday, so i have to do it every day!

chad was looking at me today, and finally said, yeah, you look like you are shrinking. that felt good, but we went to my job, where i hadnt worked since december...hardly anyone noticed!
it was a little disheartening, but a little motivating too. i know for a gal my size, i have to lose A LOT of weight before anyone really can tell, but still!!!

oh well, hopefully my next post will have some really good news! of course, i could always get him a few extra chocolate pudding pies, and tip the scales in my direction that way!!!!! :)

closing in on 40 lbs lost!

yep, thats right! almost 40 lbs gone! i dont miss them a bit!

i went through my closet, and got rid of some clothes that were too big. now, that was exciting! i am kind of in between sizes right now. so i need to kick it up at the y next week, so i can fly rightpast and fit into the clothes i got from my friend kristie. she is an inspiration! she lost 110 lbs . she did it with weight watchers, and exercising. she looks amazing. i cannot wait until i am down 110 lbs! but right now, i am almost a third of the way to my goal! that seems like so far away sometimes, but i know that had i not gotten the surgery it would of taken me probably about a year to lose 37 lbs. truthfully... i would probably put on another 37 within a few months! so i am not complaining.

i am seeing changes, little ones, but significant ones, nonetheless. i can get out of bed without my ankles and knees hurting. i can go up my stairs, and not feel like i just ran 3 miles at top speed. and i am not 100 % sure, but i think i may have a collarbone, and a hip bone underneath there! i felt them. AND..... i am almost down to just one chin!!!!!!!!!!!! go me!

its the little things that are making me happy these days.

i also found out why they stress drinking water! i got a little dehydrated on friday. not fun. so, i will not be playing any games with water from now on. it is attached to me, now and forever.

first night out!

went out last night to the landing with michelle and kim. had a great time! it was fun to get out, and i danced a little-not as much as those two, though. someone had to sit at the table and watch the drinks to make sure the eastern europeans didnt roofie our drinks. mine was only water, but still!

why dont guys leave you alone after you tell them, that you are married, and happily married at that?

nothing new to report, no bad experiences, 4 more lbs down, so that is exciting!

5 weeks post op 3-2-2010

still at 30 lbs lost. but according to the dr. office i am right where i should be. THAT is a strange, and unknown place for me, i am never where i should be!!!!

pretty much all my limitations are lifted, so i can get into this rumble class at the y, i am pumped!

the dietician was probably a little annoyed with me, i never do my food journals! i hate them, but i can tell you exactly what i ate. apparently, i am not getting enough calories! so i guess hell has officially frozen over!!! she wants me to stop drinking the protein shakes too, and focus on getting my protein from food. ugh! that was so easy, i drink two shakes a day, and that gave me the amount of protein i needed for the day, and everything else was just a bonus. i thought i found a loophole!

and the "dumping" episode, i thought i had, was not actual "dumping". that was explained to me, that what i had was just food stuck, and the dumping is going to be much more FUN!

i ate at a restaurant for the first time since the surgery, too. chad and i ate at a bennigans in k-zoo, and we split a seafood plate. i had a couple bites of a garden salad, and grilled salmon, and shrimp. it was AWESOME!!! i had about half, and boxed up the rest. i am such a cheap date!

4 weeks post op

here i am one month post op! restrictions on what i can eat are gone! normally, i would be going hog wild, but given the "dumping" episode, i havent. i drink a protein drink twice a day, so i make sure i get my 60-80 grams of protein every day. i just dont want to end up bald. there are some things that i try, cucumbers with a little bit of ranch, wheat thins. the biggest difference is the amount that i eat.

i am getting ready for a huge test of willpower! chad and i are going out to eat while we are out of town tomorrow night. there is no way i can get a whole dinner to myself, so i will have to get chad to get something good, so i can have a little. the old me, just thinks about what goodies the restaurant will have, the new me, is hoping that there is something i can have!

sometimes i feel like this eating to live stuff is for the birds! but then i try on jeans, that i wasnt able to wear a couple of weeks ago, and think, yeah, okay, good choice!! i can almost see a jawline, so we are making progress albeit slowly! its so foreign to me, to not want to eat all day, and when i go to the kitchen to actually eat something, (not usually because i am hungry, but bc i know i need to eat ) nothing ever really looks good! who knows, maybe that will change, as i start eating more.

30 lbs down, and stuck

yep, scale not really moving! but i am back at the y, so hopefully it will get things moving in the right direction.

well, i had my first "dumping" episode. chad had a double decker taco supreme, and i took a small bite, chewed it a million times, and thought it tasted soooooo good. then, a huge lump formed in my chest, and i started to get a super dry mouth, and i ran to the bathroom! it felt like i threw up a huge greaseball. so no more of that. i have 3 more days on my soft, mushy diet, but i am worried that it is going to take longer to get used to solids. chocolate goes down just fine. that may be a mixed blessing. portion control was always an issue for me, so this works out pretty well. i am too scared to take any more than a small bite.

did you ever notice how many food commercials there are? red lobster, oreos, 3 muskateers truffle crisp candy bars...is it any wonder we are such an obese nation? there are lots of people with little self-control, like me! i just hope i can take control, and make sure my kids dont end up like me!

2-15-2010

yep, feeling pretty good lately. today was chads first day back on shift. my first 24 hours alone with the kids. not too bad. i am cleaning things up around the house, chad did a pretty good job. housework really is not his area of expertise! lol, just kidding honey, you did great.

i am ready to get back to the y. i hope to get there in a day or two. try, try again! this time, i will not overdo it.

sooo, i am supposed to be on soft, mushy foods for one more week. its really hard to not try stuff though. i like to see what i can eat. i cannot eat garlic bread, thats for sure. it feels like it gets stuck in my chest. very uncomfortable. hershey kisses go down okay, though!!! i am not stupid enough to try more than one at a time, though! one or two a day, is just right.

i cant drink for 3 months after the surgery, and my friends have been going out a lot, and i have been stuck at home! :( so, i live vicariously through their pictures, and stories. when i am ready to go out, i am going to be one cheap date, though. every one drink will effect me like two or more. sooo, i wont have to spend too much money, and no more late night munchies, either. i knew this surgery was going to save me some money somewhere!

i did get to try some of chad's chili though, one of my favorites! he made a separate pan for me <3, he is so good to me!!! i love you, baby!

down 25-30 lbs!

helllloooo!!!!!!!!! yes, most of that pain is gone!!! whoohoo! i was afraid it was going to last the 6-8 weeks, i usually have that kind of luck. but no, its almost all gone! yahoo!

i got up today, and i made myself some egg salad at lunch, went to the library, and pharmacy. not too much, but after a week of being laid up, it was a big outing for me.

its so hard not to keep weighing myself. i cant believe the lbs actually lost, because i cant really see much difference when i look in the mirror. but at my start weight, 25 lbs isnt that big of a difference! maybe once i can get back to the y to walk again, they will start dropping, and making an impact!

so, those who know me, know how much i love food, in its many different incarnations. yes, i have tried a few things that are not on the "soft, mushy" list that i was given to follow for the next two weeks. i have tried a tortilla chip with a smidge of salsa, i have also had a mint cookie (like girl scout thin mints), and a chocolate chip cookie. so far...no nausea! i am not sure if that is a good thing or not. knowing me, maybe not. but i dont dare eat them like i used to. one small cookie at a sitting, instead of a half of a bag! so portion control is in effect. i am still craving massimos pizza, but i am not THAT stupid to try that!!! really, i'm not!

2-10-2010

so, still laying around. after talking to the p.a. i found out that the pain may last 6-8 weeks. needless to say, i am probably not a lot of fun to be around right now. this is some information i would of liked to have before surgery. would it of changed my decision? i do not know. probably not, i am usually pretty hard-headed when i make up my mind about something. (not a word, chad!)

my poor husband just wants to go back to work! thats pretty bad, when he wants to go back to work, instead of being home with his loving wife!!

i am sure hoping that i can look back on this and think it was just a minor bump in the road...real soon!

11 days post op 2-6-2010

i am still nursing this side pain. this is no joke. i have had pain following surgery before, but this is a whole new level.

we are going to have to get a new recliner, as this one is going to have a permanent imprint of my body. usually when i am on the go, taking care of the kids, i would think this would be a vacation! its not. i really want to clean, and get back to normal. hallie is loving this though, she thinks it a sleepover in the living room with me. :) i am not so thrilled with her choice of t.v. shows! there is only so much teen disney, and nick that a woman can take. i need my tlc, and hgtv, and e! of course part of the reason i chose to have this surgery is to get off my butt, and do other things besides watch t.v. so not where i want to be right now.

when people tell you to take it easy after surgeries, i usually take it with a grain of salt, thinking eh-i have been down this road, i just need to get up and move around. THAT WOULD BE A BIG NO NO THIS TIME AROUND!

ok, so no more bitching. i am getting more protein, so, yay for me. got to keep those levels up, so i dont lose my hair!

i can already feel my clothes getting looser, so there are good things to report!

i had my one week post op appt. yesterday. i am down 18 lbs! yay! i am the "model" gp patient. haha, apparently they forget how much practice i have had being a patient.

during the appt. the p.a asked me if i was having side pain, i said no, i wasnt. of course after i left the office, what did i get? you guessed it ...side pain! one of the side effects can be mild to severe pain on the left side of your belly. they have stitched the incision to my stomach muscles. whoa, whoa, whoa, when i get these "stomach muscles"??? but, yeah, it varies from mild to severe, thats for sure. i put a bag of frozen lima beans on it to help. it doesnt too much. i bet chocolate would help, but oh well, i am not ready for THAT whole issue to happen!

i am still working on getting the right amount of water, and protein. its a lot harder than it looks. next week i get to start soft, mushy foods. never has a scrambled egg sounded so good to me. or tuna, or cottage cheese. whoohooo.

whoever thinks that this is the "EASY" way out, i say HA! the easy way would be for me to continue on the same path i was going down.

monday 2-1-2010

tomorrow will mark a week since i had my life-changing surgery! i cannot believe its been that long already.

i have started going to the y, to walk around the track. its pretty sad when the elderly are passing you up at least twice a lap!! i just keep on truckin' though.
i had some tomato soup today, and it was the best thing i have had in so long! i have been drinking boost protein drinks, eating jello, and fat free pudding and yogurt for 3 weeks now, so this was a wonderful departure. i am craving pizza more than anything, i really hope i can eat a little one day.

one little side effect i failed to mention, your bariatric breath!!! thank you listerine for the breath strips, actually, my husband thanks you. when you lose weight like this, the ketones (sp) are doing something, burning fat, or something like that. i swear i do pay attention when the dietician is talking! i heard that i was burning fat, and was probably just too shocked to listen to anything else, because that is such a foreign concept to me! the burning fat, not, not listening.

well, nothing too exciting to report. i am sure i will have something soon. especially after i start adding new foods to my diet.
oh yeah, liquid vicodin ROCKS!

4 days post op...1-30-2010

well, here i am 4 days post op. bloated like a pufferfish, but down a few lbs! very sore, but not sorry that i made the decision to have gastric bypass.

just a few things that they dont really tell you about how you feel after surgery...

one, gas, you can literally hear it bubbling in your stomach. i should of felt more warned when i saw the ads for charcoal panty liners before i had the surgery.

two, of said gas...i was advised by the p.a that if it feels like you are going to expel gas, beware, that might not be the ONLY thing that comes out. so greeeeaaat, i am really looking forward to that!

three, eating is very hard. never in my life, have i had an issue eating food. getting more than an ounce or two of liquid right now is very hard. i feel like a lump in my chest if i drink more than i should. i should already expect this, they do warn you about that part, but until you live it, you dont know. taking teeny tiny bites is very hard when you are so used to shoveling food in.

i am not quite ready to disclose my weight, maybe more towards the end.